*Light encoded for your awakening journey*
I had a conversation with someone recently and it, basically, went something like this:
This Other Person (TOP): Can you get rid of anxiety without meds?
Me: Absolutely!
TOP: I wouldn’t know who I was if I got rid of my anxiety.
Me: You already don’t know who you are. You know your anxiety.
TOP just looked at me.
Me: Did you come out of your momma with anxiety?
TOP: No
Me: Then your anxiety is not YOU. You are who came out of your momma.
TOP: That’s really deep.
So, I AM asking you, do you know who you are, or do you only know anxiety, depression, grief, anger, fear, or whatever else you got going on? I am going to call this “pain,” because emotional pain is what it is. I strongly urge you to get to know yourself. Get to know your pure, clean self. No mind-altering drugs (prescribed or otherwise, although do not give them up without your doctor’s knowledge and advice!), no alcohol, no binge eating, no busy-ness or “workaholism” or whatever else you might use to deaden that feeling inside you that does not belong there. All those feelings that did not arrive in to the world with you. And, yes, if you start to feel your pain while sitting still and you then start doing something, anything else to avoid what is rising up within you, busy-ness is an avoidance behavior.
I know, it’s hard to look at this pain. My drug of choice is food. However, constantly using something to mask the pain, or push the pain down, or distract from the pain is No Bueno and a recipe for disaster. Think of it like this, you have a wound [trauma, childhood or otherwise, large or small] on your arm that you don’t treat. The bleeding has stopped and the pain has passed. So, it’s fine, right?!? Not only do you not treat it, clean it, put antibiotic ointment and a bandage on it, you ignore it and let all kinds of dirt to get in there [more life trauma, because let’s face it, life can be pretty freakin’ hard sometimes], maybe you bump the wound, and it opens up and starts hurting and bleeding again. You still don’t treat it. Instead, you simply start wearing long sleeve shirts. Out of sight, out of mind, right? No problem! Or, perhaps, you do decide to medicate it, but you actually never look at the wound. You just put ointment and a bandage on it over your shirt, or you close your eyes when you push up your sleeve. You continue operating like this for weeks [months or years] without looking at the wound until one day, it is incredibly painful, and you can no longer ignore it. You look down, push up your sleeve and find that the wound you have been ignoring or not been taking care of completely and appropriately is now a very painful open oozing pus- and blood-filled mess that can no longer be contained by your skin and it is making a hot fucking mess everywhere [and it will eventually]. People around you are horrified and wondering what the hell is happening because you have this hot mess all over your shirt and dripping onto the floor [you have gone ballistic, or waaaayy overreacted to something or you are suicidal, or you can no longer function on a daily basis. You spend all day in bed and you lose your job and can no longer pay your bills.]. You get the general picture I am painting here. It sounds ridiculous, but this is what people do with their mental health way too often. Things cannot be swept under the rug for extended periods of time without consequences. You will simply trip over the lump under the rug. Anxiety, depression, grief, fear, none of these things go away without addressing the root cause of the problem [the original wound(s)]. If you ignore these issues, you will get nudges to take care of them. They will come from God/Universe/Source (GUS), your guardian angels, your guides, your intuition, your Higher Self, I don’t care what you want to call it. They nudge you because they only want the best for you. They want you to be free of your pain. You can’t hear or feel those nudges if you are “medicating” yourself in some way and covering up your pain artificially. Pain, physical or emotional/mental, is a sign that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. You cannot throw aspirin [or morphine] at your chronic headache and expect that your pain or your brain tumor will go away. You need to address the actual problem, not just the symptom(s). Your fear, anxiety, anger, etc. are NOT YOU. They are symptoms of an underlying problem that is begging for your attention before it is too late. Because, here is what happens if you ignore those nice little nudges, you end up with what my friends and I affectionately call the “Cosmic 2×4” [for those who don’t know, this is a 2 inch by 4 inch piece of wood that is 8 feet long and used in construction]. When that sucker whacks you upside the head, you will know it. If that doesn’t work, you will receive another whack from a Cosmic 2×4. There is no shortage of Cosmic 2x4s. The Universe is abundant. Lack and scarcity are 3D creations stemming from fear and greed. Aaand if that still doesn’t work, the Universe will arrange to beat you bloody with that 2×4 in a desperate attempt to get you to take care of your business. GUS will do this not because GUS is angry with you, but because the next stop will be death [suicide, accidental overdose, etc]. The worst part of all this shit is that if you don’t learn your lesson in this life, you get to do it all again in the next life! WOOOOHOOO! The catch is that you come back in the next life at the vibrational match to what you were when you left. All that emotional goop has pulled you down into the lower vibrational frequencies so that your life is even harder than it was this time around. Please don’t make your life harder. Life is hard enough.
Now, I know this is not an easy task, been there, done that. It takes some balls to look your demons in the face or unpack your bags, or whatever other metaphor you wish to use. This post is chock full of them. But YOU CAN DO THIS!! Your life will be SO much better on the other side of that shit show. Mine is. I leave in Peace and Joy now. I no longer live in fear or pain or depression. Get yourself some help. I went to individual and group therapy once a week (for each) for a couple years when I first started. Then I just did a little individual therapy. I felt better and let it go for about 25 years. Recently, I have been back in a 12 week “group therapy” situation which is soon coming to a close. I use the quotation marks because this is not a group led by a professional therapist. This is a small group of beautiful spiritually like-minded women who are talking about whatever they need to talk about in a safe and private environment. Hell, we do it online. You don’t even have to leave the house to get help now! They didn’t have that 25 years ago. It was much easier and faster to clean out the residual debris that remained. That does not mean that I didn’t cry this time. It just means it was less painful because I had done so much work earlier.
Please take care of your business before you get the “Cosmic 2×4.” It’s just easier that way. Please know that time is running short. Things must be dealt with now. The energies are rising in frequency and bringing all these lower emotions that do not resonate with them up to the surface to be looked at. Those are your nudges. Nothing will be able to exist that does not match the higher frequencies of Love. Look around, it looks like the world has suddenly gone to Hell. It is not sudden. That Hell has been there for a long time. It’s just that the current energies are shaking all this crap loose so that it floats to the surface to be viewed on the world stage and it is also happening in our personal lives. (If you want to “see” those increased frequencies, go look at the Schumann Resonance.) This is the time in the Ascension process when we spiral up or spiral down depending on where we are emotionally and mentally. Up is definitely the better direction. Up is toward Source. Down is toward what people traditionally think of as Hell. I know where I AM going. What direction are you heading? Choose wisely, because we are in a time when our choices are magnified so that the good becomes awesome and the bad becomes reeeaaal crappy like. I see where some people in my family are headed. I can not help them. They can only help themselves. You are the only one who can help you, but you must take on that responsibility and do the work to face your traumas.
Well, we mixed those metaphors all over the place, but I think you can understand my message even if you “can’t” or don’t want to hear it. YOU ARE NOT your pain, grief, depression, anger, etc. YOU ARE A FRACTAL OF ALL THAT IS. You are a piece of Source Creator and Source Creator is Love, Light, and Peace. You deserve to be Love, Light and Peace too, just like when you came out of your mamma.
Peace, Love and Light,
Aunt Jeannie